Saying Goodbye to a Friend.

I’ve been pretty sad this past week. My hero, Jay Marshall, died last Tuesday night.  I went to his service and broken wand ceremony today to say my final goodbye to the old man who always made me laugh my ass off.

This was not a normal visitation and service.  First, it was standing room only, with an overflow of folks outside in the hallway.  In addition to all the local Chicago Magicians coming to pay their respects, a bunch of magic people from all over converged to participate in Jay’s final standing ovation.  Jay was just a wonderful entertainer. He was adored by everyone that was blessed to meet him. 

The program for Jay’s service was done up like a theater Playbill and was to be done in “Acts.”  Jay Marshall was well known during lulls between magic performances (such as when the stage is being setup for the next act) to stand up and tell a dirty joke to the audience.  The joke was always side-splitting funny, and because it was Jay telling it, no one ever was offended hearing him tell it.   

Because this was Jay Marshall’s memorial service, I knew it would be no ordinary eulogy.  I was right. I have never been to a more entertaining funeral service. There was a bag pipe player wailing out amazing grace, his coffin had a sign that said “Not the first time I died!” and another sign labeled, “Lefty on Board.” Speakers did magic tricks and told dirty jokes.  The word fuck was said no less than a dozen times.

The memorial service started with Jay’s eldest son introducing himself with a funny line about not knowing whether to begin with his fly up or down. Then came Jay’s other son, Sandy, who gave a touching, and pretty god damn funny eulogy for his father, which included lots of hysterical stories about him. John Apperson, president of the Society of American Magicians, gave a respectful reading of the broken wand ceremony. The broken wand ceremony is this goofy ritual done after a magician dies.  Because the magic the dead magician did on earth is now gone, the wand is no longer useful and is broken in a symbolic gesture of the magician moving on to the “next great mystery.” Aye Jaye (a.k.a. the original Ronald McDonald and a legendary Carny), one of Jay’s closest friends, was to break the wand, but before he did, he of course did a few magic tricks. One was a “mail order magic” card trick done with Aye Jaye following a recording of Jay talking out the directions. Then Aye Jaye did a quick sword swallowing illusion. Aye Jaye talked about Jay being a mentor to us all, and asked us to keep his memory alive by following his example and mentoring others. He said because Jay was so loved by all, he knew everybody there wanted to break the wand. He asked everyone to imagine that they were breaking the wand as he broke it. T. Daniel, representing the 3 Sheeters Club (named after the old style  3-sheet lithograph posters used to advertise professional acts), told a story about how Jay playing a small theater in Wisconsin that had box seats accesible just off the stage wing.  When Jay concluded his act there, he ran behind the curtain into the box seats and gave himself a standing ovation. A dwarf named Danny Black (a.k.a. Dandy the Clown) gave a short tribute to Jay and mentioned how he was one of Jay’s "friends in low places." Fred Putz, representing the Chicagoland Puppetry Guild, did a goodbye for Jay, Punch and Judy style with puppet in hand. And Graham Putnam, representing the Showman’s League, reminisced about Jay and told the story of the Showman’s Rest area of Oaklawn Cemetery in Forest Park, Illinois, where Jay chose to be interned.  At Showmen’s Rest, 56 poor circus performers, many indigent and nameless, were buried after a tragic railroad accident in Hammond, Indiana on January 22, 1918. The identity of many of the victims was unknown, as they were roustabouts and temporary workers. Only two have "nicknames," Smiley and Baldy. The other stones are marked either with the person’s job, such as "4 Horse Driver," or simply "Unknown Male No. 44," etc.   The Showman’s League of American has the Showman’s Rest Section to bury outdoor entertainers, circus folks, and carnies.  I’m not surprised this is where Jay wanted to be interned, as he helped so many during his life… In death, I imagine Jay wanting to spend eternity entertaining these showmen.  And finally, they opened up the microphone for those in attendance to tell a few stories about Jay. It was a beyond capacity crowd, with many people standing in back and in the hall. It ended with a standing ovation for Jay. I laughed a lot during the ceremony, but cried a few times too.

Saying goodbye, why is it sad?
Makes us remember the good times we’ve had

Much more to say, foolish to try
It’s time for saying goodbye.

Dont want to leave, but we both know
Sometimes it’s better to go.
Somehow I know we’ll meet again
Not sure quite where, and I don’t know just when
You’re in my heart, so until then
Wanna smile, wanna cry
Saying goodbye.

 

Goodbye Jay.